Reality sets in....

    
It has been about 2 weeks since we have been matched with the expectant mom who chose us. We never thought that day would come and once it arrived we were in shock. We couldn't believe that someone would actually pick us! Quickly that shock turned to elation, followed by fear. In fact, we continue to swing between those two emotions almost on a daily basis. We are doing our absolute best to trust in God and to have more happy moments than fearful ones. But, we can't help but know that there is a possibility that the expectant mom could choose to parent her child in the end. This became real for us when we signed our adoption agreement which stated all the risks that come with adoption. We had to acknowledge that there is a very real possibility we could come away with no child in the end. It is important to know all of the risks with adoption, but to recognize that the possible rewards outweigh all those risks.

In the meantime, we are trying out the whole 'expectant parent' thing. At first all of our energies had been focused on becoming pregnant. Then when we felt God call us to adoption (and all the paperwork that came with it) we focused on each step. Now, for the first time, we have to think like  expectant parents. Most expectant parents get 9 months to read parenting books, to register for gifts and to wrap their head around the fact that a tiny human will soon be living with them. Jim and I get about 2.5 months to be expectant parents (if all goes according to plan). It is entering into a world we never dared to dream was possible and it is a tad overwhelming. Yesterday, we stopped into Buy Buy Baby to look at cribs and while we were pondering which crib we liked best, the lady at the store gave us a whole tutorial on crib mattresses. I would have never dreamed in a million years there were so many choices. We have also started registering for things. My mom babysat kids for pretty much all of my formative years, and I was pretty involved in my nephews childhood, but so many new inventions for babies have been invented since then! It is quite overwhelming!

I have also been doing my part to try to save money on all this baby stuff as we will likely have to pick up a lot of it ourselves. I am on the hunt at garage sales and am going to a consignment baby event in a couple weeks. It is still a weird feeling to be in the world of 'baby'.

Also in the past couple weeks we have started a great friendship between us and the expectant parents. We already admire them so much and care so much for them! Many people think it is weird to want to have a relationship with one another, but we plan on remaining in contact with the expectant mom even after the baby is placed with us. Research shows that a more open adoption allows better closure and healing for the expectant parents and it also allows the child to have a greater sense of identity and feeling of belonging.

We will meet them next month and we are all really excited to meet one another. We hope that they will be able to see the love Jim and I have for each other and for God. We hope they will be able to see how much we care about them and how much we will care about this child. We continue to wait in joyful hope for all of these things!