As most of you know for the past two years, Jim and I have been trying to start a family. Throughout the process we have remained open to life and were praying for God's will to be done when it comes to children. In the last 6 months, our hearts have turned to adoption. We had talked about adoption before we were married, and felt that this is something we would be open to in our marriage. So, we were excited to take the leap to start our home study process in September, and in December we were ready to start to be shown to expectant moms.
One thing we were not prepared for was the roller coaster ride we would be on once we started this part of the process. The way things work for us is that we receive information on expectant moms and we decide whether or not we would like to have them view our profile. We are working with a consultant who works with many different agencies in different states so things have moved very quickly. Right away, we got 5 or 6 situations to consider. Of those, we decided to have our profile shown to one of the moms. We knew the chances were slim that we would be chosen, as expectant moms view many profiles when making their decision. We were not totally prepared to hear the news on Christmas Eve that we were not chosen to be parents for this particular child. It was difficult to hear this news as we were on our way to Mass. It was a difficult Mass to get through. One thing you don't expect is to fall in love a little bit with the expectant mom and her unborn child. A match generally happens when the expectant mom is in her third trimester, so there is not a lot of time to prepare if you are a match. You can't help but have your mind go to what it would be like to bring that child home in the next couple months.
Only two days later, we received another situation that we felt was right for our family, and so we asked to have our profile shown to this birth mom as well. I promised myself that I would not be as invested this time, but it was hard not to do so. We found out on New Year's Eve that we were not a match for this particular child either. It was definitely not the way we were hoping to spend New Year's Eve, but I know that for whatever reason, this child was meant for another family.
So, we continue in the wait. We have not been presented a situation since then that we felt was right for our family. The wait is difficult, especially when in a larger sense, we have been waiting for over two years. Our consultant has mentioned time and time again that God's timing is always perfect and that is something I keep trying to remember, that, when the time is right, our child will come to us. And, we will most definitely welcome them with the most open arms possible.
We have been so lucky to have great support from family and friends. We live in a weird existence where we are expectant parents, but not in the way society expects us to be. My body is not changing, I am not experiencing morning sickness, but in a very real way I am an expectant mom. Unlike pregnant women though, we have no idea how long it will be until our little one arrives. But, we are so happy that our family and friends have helped us to feel like typical expectant parents. For Christmas, friends and family showered us with onesies, diapers and wipes, toys, blankets, socks, hats, washcloths, pacifiers etc. It was so nice for them to realize that we will need all of these things on hand as we could have very little warning when we go to pick up our child. We are so grateful for the love of all of them!
We would also appreciate prayers as we continue in this journey and this wait.
God Bless,
Lisa
P.S. - Often when couples who have suffered infertility start the adoption process they hear repeatedly something like "Oh, now you will get pregnant...I have a friend who had this happen". While we appreciate hearing the stories of friends and family who were able to go on and have biological children, our goal is to start a family and we are not adopting so we can get pregnant. In fact, only 5-15% of couples ever go one to have children biologically after adoption. While we continue to remain open to life and open to however God wishes us to have children, adoption is not a second choice for us. We firmly believe that this is the way that God is calling us to start a family.
No comments:
Post a Comment