He's finally here! After all the long waiting, wondering and praying, our son was born on July 18th. I thought I would take a few moments (while I have it) to write down the story of his birth. Here it is:
I was in constant contact with Nathan's birth mom leading up to his birth so when I didn't hear from her on July 17th, I got concerned. I decided to send the lawyers office we are working with a quick email as they told us to contact them with any worries we had throughout the process. I sent off a quick email and expected to hear that all was well. Instead, I got a phone call. It was the lawyers assistant telling me that Nathan's birth dad called and that it was time. Nathan's birth mom was in labor! I was in shock. I waited and waited for this moment to come, I didn't know what to do first. I quickly called Jim to tell him the news. I think he was in shock too because he told me that he needed to get done a couple things at work before we left. I told him he was not allowed and it was go time! After I hung up with Jim I got a call back from the lawyer saying there was confusion as to whether or not the birth mom was in labor or whether she was just dehydrated. She hadn't been admitted yet, so we should hold tight. I had been frantically researching the next available flights so I put that on hold and let Jim know he may have some time to get that stuff done after all. Well, less than an hour later, I got a call that she was indeed in labor and we should get on the next plane.
Less than 4 hours later, we were on a plane. There are barely any direct flights to Jacksonville so we had to take a connecting flight through Atlanta. I picked the first available flight and had no idea at the time that the second leg of our flight was first class seats! It saved us some money because our bags were free and we managed to be one of the first people off the plane in Jacksonville. We will always be able to tell Nathan that we flew first class to meet him. Each time we landed we texted the birth dad for updates. We were convinced that we would miss the birth. When we landed in Jacksonville, we found out that we didn't miss the birth and that she was still only about 4 cm dilated. We got to the hospital about midnight and sat around and waited. When it became clear not much would happen for the night we all tried to get some sleep (some of us more successful than others...I didn't sleep more than an hour). Jim and I managed somehow to sleep on this tiny couch together while the birth dad slept in a chair.
Morning broke and Nathan's birth mom was still only about 7-8 cm dilated. During this time of waiting I learned that Nathan's birth mom wanted us to be the first ones to see and hold Nathan and she wanted me to cut the umbilical cord. Nathan's birth mom was in more and more pain and it seemed like all of a sudden a nurse said that it was time and about 10 people ushered into the room. Jim didn't want to watch the birth but I did....The actual pushing was extremely quick. I am pretty sure it was only about 3 pushes and Nathan was out. It was amazing to watch! He had the cord wrapped around his neck, but as soon as they took that off he let out a big cry. I cut the umblical cord and it was not at all what I expected it to be like (it was really tough to cut through!!) They brought Nathan over to the little side warmer and Jim and I were crying. I looked back at Nathan's birth mom and she was crying as well. We locked eyes and I mouthed "Thank you" to her. She nodded and smiled. She told me later that moment will forever be etched in her memory seeing us meet our son for the first time.
Nathan's birth mom was also gracious enough to let me have the second hospital wristband that they usually give to dad's. Because I had the band, I could go with Nathan to the nursery, where he could be weighed, measured and bathed. It was so great to have those moments with him. I was texting Jim the results of his weight and measurements as I got them and he shared them with the birth parents as well. Jim was able to feed him his first bottle and we were all able to love on him.
At about 7 that night Jim and I left went to go back to the hotel to give the birth parents some time with their son. I am glad they had that whole night alone to love on him and take pictures. Early the next morning we came back and spent some time with the birth parents and little Nathan. The birth mom asked me if I would stay with her that night to help care for Nathan and I was so touched that she did. I gladly said yes! That night the birth mom had me do all the feeding and changing. She wanted me to be able to experience being his mom even while he was still at that point technically hers.
The next day, Nathan's birth mom was being discharged so our lawyer came to the hospital so she could sign the termination of parental rights. Jim and I knew this would be a difficult time not just for us, but for her as well. She was trying to be strong but we could see how hard this was going to be for her. She told us though, that she knows in heart that Nathan will have a life with us that she could never give him. I am forever grateful to her, for her selflessness and maturity to realize this.
Sometimes you hear people say, "They must not love that baby because if they did they wouldn't place the baby for adoption". Nothing could be further from the truth. Nathan's birth parents loved him enough to give him a life that they were unable to give.
We have an open adoption, so we will continue to stay in touch with them via text, phone calls, letters and visits. Nathan will always know how much they love him and we hope he always feels that he has two sets of parents that love him so much!
